Saturday, January 03, 2015

PIGSKIN 2014: Wild Card Weekend




On Vacation! 

Week Seventeen Record:  7-8-1
Final Regular Season Record:  107-100-5
Schmear of the Week:  8-8
BAGELS in the Basket:  +2

Coin Toss:
  • 50/50 chance Jerry Jones' head explodes at some point during the playoffs....
  • Is the best man for the Jets head coaching job the guy they just fired?
  • Daniel Snyder's team is still called the Washington Redskins in 2015...
1st and 10:
  • And the #1 pick in the 2015 NFL Draft goes to...., the Tampa Bay Buccaneers..., who weren't as bad as you think!  Right now they're young and stupid.  Wait a few short years for when they become young and smart.  They're gonna be trouble.
  • The New England Patriots and Seattle Seahawks are the respective #1 seeds.  Green Bay and Denver also get the week off.  I don't know about you, but I'd rather be playing.  The bye week is like getting punished for being better than the rest.  That's just me....  I don't like breaks in momentum; no coach or player does either.
2nd and Long:
  • Who said being second rate isn't good enough?  The Philadelphia Eagles were the only team with double digit wins not to make the playoffs, but the Panthers did..., with a 7-8-1 record!
No Gain:
  • Close but no cigar award goes to: The Buffalo Bills; they went 9-7 with a garbage quarterback. .....nothing personal of course.
  • Positives and negatives cancel: The San Diego Chargers (9-7) failed to make the playoffs because although they scored 348 points this season, they allowed 348 points - net gain zero!
  • What are you looking at?  The AFC had four teams with 9-7 records whom did not make the playoffs. Outside of the pathetic Panthers and Eagles (hahahah!), and the 49ers (8-8), every other NFC team finished with a losing record.
  • If the shoe fits, wear it: The NFL caved and lifted Ndamukong Suh's one game suspension for stepping on Aaron Rogers.  My feet were numb from the cold...  C'mon Man!  That's the same thing as telling Willy Wonka it was OK to kill those kids in his factory.
  • You're still a putz: Roger Goodell.., Jay Cutler..., Johnny Football..., Dan Marino, and the dude from the Bengals to took out Le'Von Bell (Steelers) at the knees last week.  That was a cheap shot!
  • Meet the new boss; Same as the old boss: the Oakland Raiders.... where losing is a tradition passed down from father to son.
Welcome to the Tournament

Patriots ~ Broncos ~ Steelers ~ Colts ~ Ravens ~ Bengals

Seahawks ~ Packers ~ Cowboys ~ Panthers ~ Lions ~ Cardinals

Wild Card Weekend:
Friday Line ~ NYDN

Cardinals +5 1/2 (PANTHERS)
Truth is, this is a sentimental pick because I still feel bad for the Cardinals losing Carson Palmer.   Now they're down to their 3rd string.  Good grief!  However, never count out an above average defense.  Remember, the Ravens once won a SB with Trent Dilfer at QB!  I digress.  The Cardinals will keep this close, and therefore stay within striking distance... I think.  The Panthers on the other hand seemed to have gotten things figured out, albeit late.  Cam Newton is also a few weeks removed from his accident.  A low scoring game favors the Cards (at least to cover).
Loss; 27-16 Panthers

STEELERS -3 (Ravens)
I can't wait to watch this game.  They meet for a 3rd time.  The Bengals did the Ravens a huge favor by knocking Le'Von Bell out of this game.  But that's okay, because Big Ben will save the day.   That big rumblin' stumblin' jukin' and jivin' fool is going to decimate the Ravens.  That's right.  Joe Flacco will be good, but Ben will be stupid good.  That's how he does.
Loss; 30-17 Ravens

Bengals +3 1/2 (COLTS)
I'm going for the upset because of what the Colts lack - no defense to speak of, no running game, no momentum, means no "Luck" for the Colts.  The Bengals are prolific underachievers!  I know!   That's why the odds are they'll do something right for a change.  If it winds up being just one playoff victory, so be it.  If their defense doesn't rise up to the occasion, they likely won't win a shootout.   They know the Colts can't run, so I'm thinking an interception or two will pave the way.
Loss; 26-10 Colts

COWBOYS -7 (Lions)
At face value, this game has blowout written all over it.  But, Ndamukong Suh and Tony Romo are perhaps two of the most unpredictable cats in the NFL.  The Cowboys greatest fear is the old Tony Romo making his grand reappearance.  Their second greatest fear is Ndamukong Suh getting his hands and cleats on Romo, or even saying bad words that could unnerve him.  Remember, one hit to the back and Romo is toast, and Suh is just the guy to do it.  All that aside, Jerry Jones' considerable investment into an offensive line will finally pay off.
Loss; 24-20 Cowboys

Guten Appetit:
Saturday is still up in the air.
Sunday: thick cut pork chops > broiled > topped with a dollop of garlic/parsley whipped butter.
Veggie kabobs > peppers, zucchini, squash, and pineapple!
Baked potatoes smashed open then baked again for crust then loaded > sour cream, scallions, cheddar, jalapenos, and crazy crunchy charred bacon bits!  Mmmmm.

What's on your football menu?

Good luck, and have a Happy Wild Card Weekend everybody!


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