Saturday, October 03, 2015

PIGSKIN 2015: Week Four


Week Four


Week Three Record:  10-4
Overall Record:  27-15
Schmear of the Week:  2-1
Bagels in the Basket:  +15

1st and 10:
  • Old Guys Gone Wild: After the Dallas Cowboys win a stunner over the Saints, look for Jerry Jones to flash his boobs in joyous celebration down Bourbon Street.

2nd and Long:
  • From his days with the Jets to the present, Rex Ryan continues to write the greatest 2nd place narrative in all of football history.  If he gets the Bills to 3-1 Sunday, Buffalo just might appoint him deputy mayor.  Regardless of the Bills/Giants outcome, the idle and undefeated New England Patriots will remain in 1st place of the AFC East.  Remember, Buffalo lost 40-32 on Sept. 13th to the Patriots. That was a bitter pill for Rex to swallow.  Bill Belichick consumes him. They'll meet again for Thanksgiving.  Till then, 2nd place seemingly never felt more glorious.  Just ask the (9-7) Jets of 2009.

No Gain:
  • The Saints have lost 6 straight in the Dome dating back to October 26th of last season.
  • The NFC boast three teams without a win (N.O., DET, CHI); all AFC teams have won at least a game.
  • Down goes Roethlisberger!
  • No one will lose against the Patriots this week.

  • The NFL should black-out the Raiders/Bears game in Chicago, for humanity sake.
  • An NFL team in London?  Perhaps the Jaguars?  They can't even get a team in Los Angeles yet.  What free agent would want to sign overseas?  Utterly brutal travel aside, would players fall prey to England's infamous Tax Man?  And who would be responsible for providing players and their families with 2-ply toilet paper?


BILLS -6 (Giants)
Defensively, I'm still feeling uneasy about the Giants victory over Washington.  Buffalo losing LeSean McCoy this week is a wash, as Tyrod Taylor and the Bills will not have Robert Ayers to contend with (as if the Giants had a pass rush to begin with).  Last week, the Hogs beat themselves due to turnovers.  Don't count on Buffalo doing the same.  Conversely, Rex will dare Eli Manning to beat him with Rueben Randle because he's going to eliminate Odell Beckham Jr. - bank on it.  Of course, I'd prefer to get this one wrong.
Loss; 24-10 Giants

Jets -1 1/2 (DOLPHINS) @ London ~ The Toilet Paper Bowl
How's the drinking water in England?  Wanna know why this spread is so close?  Fact: Flights of 4-hours or more dehydrate the body.  The team that hydrates best, wins.  London might be famous for its fish and chips, but not for these Fish.  In fact, Ndamukong Suh is playing exactly like a (former) Lion would near water - ineffectively.  Unlike last week's game against the Eagles, Ryan Fitzpatrick won't be forced into playing catch-up football this time. He'll manage a better game.  The Jets will also do a better job than last week of integrating Bilal Powell into the game.
WIN; 27-14 Jets

Jaguars +9 (COLTS)
Jags already posted one big upset this season, and they're about to score another.  Indy's offense has yet to click, and now Andrew Luck has a sore shoulder.  That, and Indy's porous defense, will keep the Jags in this game.
WIN; 16-13 Colts

FALCONS -6 1/2 (Texans)
This is admittedly my most questionable pick of the week.  The Falcons are on a magic carpet ride.   They're competent, and home.  But, all three of their victories came via 4th quarter comebacks.  You can only temp Fate so long before she gets annoyed.  I think this is going to be a very close game.   The Texans have no idea where they contracted their acute bout of stink from.  Just a 1/2 point more, and I would have leaned towards Houston.
WIN; 48-21 Falcons

Panthers -3 (BUCS)
Why does Vegas continue disrespecting the Panthers?  Injuries?  Who isn't hurt?  After Carolina blows out the Bucs, perhaps they'll finally change their thinking.  Panthers -9 (!).
WIN; 37-23 Panthers

Raiders -3 (BEARS)
Three points?  Someone thinks this has Trap Game written all over it.  Of course, that depends on your opinion of the Black and Silver.  I get they aren't that good, but they're not that bad.  Oakland is feisty, which is a kind word for inconsistent.  For the moment, though, they're feeling fine after winning in Cleveland last week.  I get playing the Teddy Bears will make them look better than they actually are, but can someone at least throw them a bone? Chicago couldn't even score in a woman's prison waving a carton of cigarettes.  Locals would be better off skipping the game and getting some deep dish at Uno's instead.
Loss; 22-20 Bears

D.C. HOGS +3 (Eagles)
Apparently, I drew more from Kirk Cousins' WK 3 performance than others.  Then again, the Giants made Sam Bradford look like a star as well.  However, DeSean Jackson is out this week.  For the Eagles, DeMarco Murray's hamstring is barking at him.  Even Steven?  Take the points.
PUSH; 23-20 Hogs

BENGALS -4 (Chiefs)
Kansas City's offensive line couldn't push a refrigerator right now, and they have big troubles on defense to boot.  The Bengals are sky high right now.  Run with it.
WIN; 36-21 Bengals

Browns +7 1/2 (CHARGERS)
Stay away.  It's the Browns!  Besides, I'm still pissed off over last week's Chargers loss in Minnesota. I thought they'd be better.  San Diego's defense warrants taking a flyer on Cleveland this week.
WIN; 30-27 Chargers

Packers -9 (49ERS)
Smell that?  Neither do people in San Francisco....  Aaron Rogers is seeing everything in slow motion right now.  The Pack will zip by the Niners with ease.
WIN; 17-3 Packers

BRONCOS -6 1/2 (Vikings)
Adrian Peterson may not be enough.  The Broncos defense is healthy and intact.  The Vikes' defense, on the other hand is banged up.  Gotta love those 1/2 points!  Broncos will improve to 4-0.  Suck wind, Minnesota.
Loss; 23-20 Broncos

CARDINALS -6 1/2 (Rams)
Fool me once...  By now, we understand what the Rams defense is capable of, but their offense is an enigma.  Just close your eyes, keep toking on Carson Palmer and the Cardinals, and pass it along.
Loss; 24-20 Rams

Cowboys PK (SAINTS)
This line changed (Saints -3) since Friday.  The Saints defense will give Dallas' depleted offense every chance to win this game.  I'd love to get 3-points on this, but PK will do.
Loss; 26-20 Saints - o.t.

Schmear of the Week:
Panthers -3

Guten Appetit:

Blimey Breakfast (9:30am NYJ in London): I prefer El Pico coffee, cinnamon buns, and/or short stack of blueberry pancakes with quarter sized slices of chorizo, cantaloupe, glass of apple juice.

Good old fashioned fried chicken and baby back ribs, loaded baked potatoes, corn on the BBQ, garden salad, deviled eggs (haven't done those in a while).  Gonna wash that down with some Coney Island Brew...

What's on your football menu?

Good luck, and have a great Football Sunday everyone!

Post Game:
Week Four Record:  7-4-1
Overall Record:  34-19-1
Schmear of the Week:  3-1
Bagels in the Basket:  +20

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