Sunday, September 13, 2015

PIGSKIN 2015: Opening Sunday - Week One

* * 2015 * *

Week One

If you're a regular of PIGSKIN, welcome back you bunch of animals!  

For those of you new to the TROLLEY, thanks for hopping on.  Here's how it's done:

  • Each game is worth one BAGEL, and my Schmear of the Week is worth 3 Bagels.  A push is a push is a push....

You read that right.  We play for Bagels around here with a Schmear of goodness.  Last time I checked, my man cave wasn't buoyed 12 miles off shore, or registered in Costa Rica.

So, now that we're on the same play sheet let's be clear about a few things.

I only post Sunday games.  That means no Monday, or Thursday nights, with the exception of Giants and Jets games, Thanksgiving, and December Saturday games, etc.

Next, my picks are for entertainment purposes only.  Part of the reason for rolling out this TROLLEY was because I got sick of other people's opinions, particularly so called experts.  But I digress...

This is simply about you and I talking football, and having a good time about it.  That said, allow me to call you an idiot, now, just in case you lose your life savings following me, later.  In other words, your stupidity is not my fault.

Furthermore, the New York Mets have disrupted my whole routine.  Considering this year's pennant race, I just can't wrap my head around football yet.  

For the N.Y. Giants, that's a good thing!  Full disclosure folks - I am indeed a Giants fan, but I call it as I see it.

My record in previous years hasn't been too shabby.  Last season, I ended up 107-100-5, and went 8-8 with my Schmear of the Week.  After 17 weeks of baking, I earned a net +3 Bagels.

Here's a few more things you should know:
  • I usually post PIGSKIN on Friday nights.  I'm late getting Week One up because I have a freakin' life!  I've been busy.
  • I usually use Friday's line from the (N.Y.) Daily News..., just because.  I'm going by Saturday's N.Y. Post line this week because I had it right next to me.
  • I can't decode the Cleveland Browns.  It's just a thing...  Whatever I say, you'd be wise to go the other way.
  • This blog also no longer recognizes the Washington football club's official nickname because it's fun protesting Daniel Snyder.  Therefore, this blog refers to them as the D.C. Hogs.
  • And..., I usually post a Football Sunday menu.

I think that covers it.  The rest gets figured out along the way.

The March Towards Super Bow Fifty Starts Now...

1st and Ten:

  • Football lost a legend with the passing of Frank Gifford, and an NFL matriarch with the passing Ann Mara.
  • Why isn't Ken "The Snake" Stabler already in the Hall of Fame?  The dolts in charge of that process better get this right after blowing his election while still alive.

No Gain:

  • It's Back to the Future Redux, starring Rex Ryan.  This time, Future Boy pops up in Buffalo, only to find himself in the same situation as 2009-2010 with the Jets.  He'll have a fine defense, but without an NFL caliber quarterback, Ryan's offense will once again operate like a chicken without a head.  If we learned anything about Rex during his time with the Jets, it's that he pays little attention to the offense.  Much will depend, then, on how well his delegates pick up the slack.  That said, offensive coordinators continually paid the price for Rex Ryan's shortcomings while with the Jets...
  • The NFL is going to miss having Jim Harbaugh on the sidelines.

3rd and Long:

  • Daniel Snyder's continued defiance is impressive.  I'm even considering renaming Washington yet again to the D.C. Mules.  Then there's the ongoing RGIII dilemma...  The dysfunction in Washington is remarkable.
  • Spy Gate, Deflate Gate - how many more gates get to swing in New England before one finally takes out the Patriots?
  • Is this Peyton Manning's final sip at the Last Gasp Saloon?  On paper at least, Denver is among the early SB favorites.  Without a second Super Bowl, his legacy continues taking a pounding.


  • Roger Goodell has more problems than a math book.  Has a precedence been set?  With Tom Brady's court victory over the NFL, what stops the next player from taking his grievance to court, or any player from circumventing the entire CBA for that matter, particularly in defiance of the league commissioner?
  • The Bears should punt every chance they get.  It may be their only method of successfully matriculating the ball up field.  With any luck, they'll recover a few fumbles within field goal range.
  • Oh boy!  Look how much closer the league is to putting a team back in Los Angeles!

Enough already...  Let's roll some Bagels.


COWBOYS -6 (Giants)
As noted, I'm a Giants fan, but I have little confidence this will be a particularly good season for them.  Big Blue's misery will start post-haste in Dallas.  The Cowboys offensive line will ultimately control this game against an already depleted Giants defense.  This might even get ugly.
Loss; 27-26 Cowboys

JETS -3 1/2 (Browns)
I like Coach Bowles and the new direction the Jets are heading.  Geno Smith's broken jaw didn't necessarily hinder flight operations either.  In fact, they're arguably in better, more secure hands with Ryan Fitzpatrick at the controls.  The defense will be solid, and should hold off the Browns well enough to cover.
WIN; 31-10 Jets

Packers -6 1/2 (BEARS)
The Bears couldn't scare a pack of Boy Scouts right now, much less the Green Bay Packers.  Home field between these teams is an inconsequential matter during September.  Advantage Cheese Heads.
WIN; 31-23 Packers

Chiefs +1 1/2 (TEXANS)
Stopping JJ Watt is a lot to ask.  But if the offensive line buys Alex Smith sufficient time, the Chiefs can steal this game in Houston.
WIN; 27-20 Chiefs

BILLS +2 1/2 (Colts)
This is just one of those things...  It could be just one of very few losses for the Colts this season.  On the one hand, Andrew Luck is anxious to redeem last year's exit from the playoffs.  On the other hand, the Bills have spent the pre-season getting high on Rex Ryan's bravado.  A good defense, led by a fine defensive minded coach, makes me think a few sacks and a pair of INT's will swing the game Buffalo's way.
WIN; 27-14 Bills

Dolphins -3 1/2 (D.C. MULES)
What's not to like?  Washington is deteriorating from within.  Miami is emerging.  The Fish may not win a great majority of their games, but they'll nonetheless give their opponents fits this season.
WIN; 17-10 Dolphins

Panthers -3 (JAGUARS)
Why is this game only 3 points?  The fix is in!
WIN; 20-9 Panthers

Seahawks -4 (RAMS)
Because it's the Seahawks, and until someone proves otherwise the safe bet is with Seattle.
Loss; 34-31 Rams/ovetime

CARDINALS -2 1/2 (Saints)
Las Vegas doesn't seem terribly confident, but I do.  The Cardinals window of opportunity is still open, but closing fast.  The Saints window, however, is sealed shut.
WIN; 31-19 Cardinals

CHARGERS -3 (Lions)
This game screams stay away.  The obligatory 3-point respect paid to home teams always does.
WIN; 33-28 Chargers

Titans +3 (BUCS)
Feeling lucky, punk?
WIN; 42-14 Titans

Bengals -3 (RAIDERS)
I have no reason justifying my belief in the Bengals ability to enter the Black Hole and win, other than to say they usually perform at their worst during big games at home.  This should be a lay-up, or not.  Things can very easily go Oakland's way.  You've been warned.
WIN; 33-13 Bengals

BRONCOS -4 (Ravens)
Because our first inclination is to underestimate the Ravens, and because playing in Denver matters, and because Peyton Manning is usually great this time of year.  Doh!
WIN; 19-13 Broncos

*Schmear of the Week:
Packers -6 1/2

Guten Appetit:
Choice of bruschetta or guacamole dip, chorizo and grilled shrimp on sticks painted with a brown garlic sauce, Spanish rice, and skirt steak with chimichurri sauce.  So, what's on your menu?

Good luck, and have a Happy Opening Sunday of football everyone!!


Oh baby!  What a week!  You should have listened.

Week One Record:  11-2
Schmear of the Week:  1-0
Bagels in the Basket:  +12

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