Sunday, October 08, 2017

PIGSKIN 2017: Week Five



PIGSKIN
FOOTBALL SUNDAY
Week Five

RESULTS

Scoreboard:
Week Four Record:  6-8
Overall Record:  21-33-1
Schmear of the Week:  2-2
Bagels in the Basket:  -13

1st and Ten:
  • The Kansas City Chiefs are the lone remaining undefeated team.  Not for long though, they'll be taking on a Texas pass rush without their starting center and right guard.
2nd and Long:
  • The New England Patriots are in second place ... because they can't stop anybody on defense!  Go figure.
No Gain
  • The Toilet Bowl I ... Either the Giants or Chargers are guaranteed to finish the day 0-5.  In fact, four teams enter Week Five yet to win a game.
PUNT!
  • The Toilet Bowl II ... Maybe the league should just contract the Browns  ...?  They play the Jets today who are actually trying to lose, and can't even get that right!


WEEK FIVE
Friday Line ~ NYDN

Chargers +3 (GIANTS)
As if the offensive line wasn't bad enough, now Weston Richburg is hurt.  JPP and Snacks are compromised on the other side of the ball.  I can see Big Blue losing their fifth straight.  Their only chance?  The Chargers love to give away games.  At least they'll be playing in from of a real crowd today.
WIN  27-22 Chargers

Jets +1 (BROWNS)
I'm gonna throw the Jets a bone hear.  After two straight legitimate victories, they deserve it.
WIN  17-14 Jets

Bills +3 (BENGALS)
Just look how these two teams are trending.  The Bengals are a no-brainer cause they're a bunch of dummies.  I'm somewhat surprised by the Bill though.
Loss  20-16 Bengals

STEELERS -8 (Jaguars)
This is a lot of points, so I'm just counting on the Steelers being better than they've been.
Loss  30-9 Jaguars

Titans -1 (DOLPHINS)
Still waiting for Marcus Mariotta and the Titans offensive line to control the line of scrimmage.
Loss  16-10 Dolphins

49ers +1 1/2 (COLTS)
Nothing much changes for the Colts until Andrew Luck gets back ... not even against the 0-4 Niners.
Loss  26-23 Colts

EAGLES -6 (Cardinals)
The Cardinals aren't flying right.  They're just not scoring enough at the moment in order to keep up with Philly.  Letting Carson Palmer get beat up isn't helping.
WIN  34-7 Eagles

LIONS -2 (Panthers)
The Panthers are 3-1 in spite of themselves.  The Lions are defending well, so I expect a crap day from Cam.
Loss  27-24 Panthers

RAMS -1 (Seahawks)
Tough call.  I'm not so sure the Seahawks have awoken from their slumber.  This could very well turn into a shootout.  I just don't know.
Loss  16-10 Seahawks

RAIDERS -2 (Ravens)
Same thing; no Carr... no confidence.  But at least the Raiders are playing in the Black Hole against a flaky Ravens squad.
Loss  30-17 Ravens

COWBOYS -2 (Packers)
I think the Packers are gonna fall a little short in Dallas.  Favorable spread.
Loss  35-31 Packers

TEXANS +1 1/2 (Chiefs)
Parody rules the day ... the last undefeated team will likely lose Sunday.
Loss  42-34 Chiefs


Schmear of the Week: (2-2)
EAGLES -6
WIN


Guten Appetit
Beef biscuit << that's funny (not even gonna edit it) BRISKET in a mushroom sauce, roasted onion/garlic red potatoes/carrots and asparagus.  Big salad.  And it's Samuel Adams (dark) time!



Good luck and have a great Football Sunday everyone!


Post-Game
Week Five Record:  3-9
Overall Record:  24-42-1
Schmear of the Week:  3-2
Bagels in the Basket:  -16

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