PIGSKIN 2016: OPENING SUNDAY

PIGSKIN

FOOTBALL SUNDAY

Week One

To PIGSKIN regulars, welcome back you bunch of animals!  If you're new to this, thanks for hopping aboard my Trolley.

Full disclosure, I am a Giants fan, but I do not hate the Jets.  You'll find I treat them very fairly.  In truth, I would probably still be a New Jersey Generals fan as well, were it not for Donald Trump killing the USFL.

Codes of Conduct and PIGSKIN Protocol:

• My weekly PIGSKIN picks are posted on Friday evenings, and I most often use the NYDN Friday line.  I have a real life like most of you, so if my picks are late in getting posted, they're late!  They'll otherwise be posted sometime before Sunday.  

• I run a Sunday cult ... thank you.  I do not bother with Monday and Thursday games unless the Giants or Jets are involved.  The only other exceptions are Thanksgiving and Saturday games in December.

• Please allow me to call you an idiot in advance (if it applies) just in case you wind up blowing your life savings following my picks.  I can not stress this enough > > > your stupidity is not my fault.   These football prognostications are for entertainment purposes only.  This is about us talking football, and having a good time doing it.

• Last time I checked, this blog also wasn't anchored 12 miles off shore, or registered in the Cayman Islands.  I run a respectable joint.  We play for Bagels here.  Each game is worth one Bagel.  What's a Bagel without a schmear of goodness?  Therefore, I post one Schmear of the Week which is worth three Bagels.  A push, is a push, is a push ... no Bagel.

• PIGSKIN is politically incorrect, and will make damn good use of its soapbox, particularly where owners Jerry Jones and Daniel Snyder are involved.  Therefore, PIGSKIN does not recognize the football team from Washington as presently named.  They will be henceforth referred to as the D.C. Hogs. 

• More often than not, I post a Football Sunday menu (see below).

• Finally, one last piece of advice before we get started ... whatever I say about the Browns, go the other way.  They're as difficult to decipher as the DaVinci Code.  Funny thing though, Bernie Kosar is one of my favorite QBs of all time.

• The rest gets worked out as we go along.

Coin Flip:

• Jerry Reese is the GM of the New York Football Giants next season.
• Super Bowl 51 = Cardinals vs. Steelers?

1st and Ten:

• Appeal this, Tom Brady!  Commissioner Goodell is still the supreme exalted mystic grand high ruler of your universe.  See you in four games, smartphone wrecker.
• The first game of the season proves Cam Newton is a marked man, who received numerous questionable high hits in the jaw and helmet area.

2nd and Short:

• RG3 gets a fresh new start with the Cleveland Browns ... poor guy.
• Sam Bradford gets a fresh new start with the Vikings ... poor Minnesota.

No Gain:

• No more Peyton Manning.  
• No more Marshawn Lynch > > his post game interviews were classic.

Punt:

• Tim Tebow's baseball career by comparison will make his NFL career seem legendary.

Week One:

Giants PK (COWBOYS)
The Giants offense will be opposed by a dreadful Dallas front seven.  Big lightBlue's offensive line and running game have much to prove.  Hopefully Victor Cruz becomes a legit threat again, while Eli and OBJ continue to piling up points together.  Defensively, the Giants still need to Show Me the Money! was worth it.  Without Tony Romo, I'm sticking with the G-Men.
WIN  20-19 Giants

JETS -2 1/2 (Bengals)
The Cincinnati funky bunch ... They're really good, but you just never know to what extent they'll suck on a given Sunday.  I like the Jets balance.  Late arriving to camp, Ryan Fitzpatrick's timing should be in sync by now, and Revis Island is open for business.  That's a spread.  People want to believe in the Bengals, but can't commit.  I can see them covering this, but I'll take the chance they don't.
Loss  23-22 Bengals

FALCONS -3 (Bucs)
All eyes are on Matt Ryan.  Above all, the Falcons are interested in getting off to another fast start.  I just can't see them playing down to the Bucs ... as they did last year!  For Pete's sake!  This game could be, should be, better be....
Loss  31-24 Bucs

Vikings -2 (TITANS)
Sam Bradford?  I have some confidence the rest of the Vikings will get this done.  Vegas obviously has no confidence in the Titans.
WIN  25-16 Vikings

EAGLES -4 (Browns)
Remember what I said ... you've been warned.  Now throw RG3 into the mix.  But, yeah, the Eagles should beat the Cleveland Browns.  Right?
WIN  29-10 Eagles

Raiders +1 (SAINTS)
Some things change, while some do not. The Dome is no longer the Saints' safe haven.  Drew Brees is a richer man, but their yawn inspiring roster appears perfectly suited for the Big Sleepy.  The Raiders are not to be taken lightly.  They are among a pack of young emerging teams looking to unseat the old guard.
WIN  35-24 Raiders

CHIEFS -7 (Chargers)
This game speaks more about San Diego's demise than Kansas City's rise.  Seven points may be cutting this close.  Then again, the Chargers could very well get blown out.
PUSH  33-27 Chiefs

Bills +3 (RAVENS)
Buffalo is the Rexy pick here.  Baltimore is in the midst of a strangely slow and productive demise.  I foresee a defensive battle.  Rex lives for pick-six.
Loss 13-7 Ravens

TEXANS -6 (Bears)
J.J. Watt versus Jay Cutler.  The Bears QB deserves everything he gets.
WIN  23-14 Texans

Packers -5 1/2 (JAGUARS)
That's not a misprint.  The Jags are improving, but they need to prove themselves first.
Loss  27-23 Packers

SEAHAWKS -10 1/2 (Dolphins)
That's a lot of bait to lay.  Dolphins are not fish.  The team is not good.  Seahawks rule the day.
Loss  12-10 Seahawks

COLTS -3 1/2 (Lions)
The Lions best change for winning is if they score off turnovers.  Andrew Luck is just that kind of guy - just not Sunday.  There will be no need to take unnecessary chances.  The Detroit Kitties have lost their best mitten - Megatron.
Loss  39-35 Lions

CARDINALS -6 (Patriots)
Cardinals are still a strong outfit.  They take a back seat to no team.  But no Brady and no Gronk mean no dice for New England.
Loss  23-21 Patriots

D.C. HOGS +3 (Steelers)
The Steelers are gonna kick themselves after this one.
Loss  38-16 Steelers


*SCHMEAR of the WEEK:
Colts -3 1/2
LOSS

Guten Appetit:
Nothing crazy this weekend.  Will make a high stack of various finger sandwiches, homemade macaroni/potato salad, big mixed greens salad, homemade salsa with stuff from my garden, and fruit.


Good luck, and have a great Football Sunday everyone!


Post Game
Week One Record: 5-8-1
BAGELS in t he Basket:  -7