Monday, December 11, 2017

N.Y. Yankees: Brian Cashman Reclaims The High Ground

From the desk of:  BLAME CARLOS MAY


I Think We Need A Bigger Park

New York Yankees: Brian Cashman acquires outfield slugger Giancarlo Stanton along with $30 million dollars from Derek Jeter Miami Marlins in exchange for Starlin Castro, prospects, and a complimentary bag of NYC bagels.

I left off in my previous post saying ... 

😲

When you think about it, the Death Star Bronx County is indeed the logical landing spot, but only because Sith Lord Brian Cashman made it so.

Cashman had already started whittling down payroll since before Derek Jeter's retirement.  And as luck would have it, the Empire Yankees wound up being the lone team presently capable of absorbing Giancarlo's mega contract in which he is still owed $295 million dollars.

Derek Jeter's options were clearly limited due to Stanton's full no-trade clause, making it no wonder Jeter also kicked in $30 million as part of the trade agreement.

Even more amazing is the fact the Yankees are able to accommodate the balance of their $265 million obligation, and still satisfy Emperor Hal Steinbrenner's desire for being under the luxury tax.

Giancarlo Stanton, the 2017 National League MVP, batted .281 with a .376 OBP.  He led all of baseball with 59 home runs and 132 RBI, and led the National League with a .631 slugging average.

Aaron Judge, the 2017 American League Rookie of the Year, slashed .284/.422/.627, and led the A.L. with 52 home runs, 128 runs scored, 127 walks, drove in 114 runs, and finished second in voting for American League MVP.

Combined, they hit 111 home runs and posted 246 RBI in 2017 (with 371 strikeouts in 1,139 regular season at-bats for a rate of 32.5 percent.., just saying).

With a line-up also featuring Didi Gregorious, Gary Sanchez, Brett Gardner, Aaron Hicks, et al, you can forget about Mos Isley Cantina Coors Field, as Yankee Stadium suddenly becomes the nation's wretched hive of scum and villainy largest pinball machine.

Perhaps the Yankees should consider installing overhead netting in order to protect the Judge's Chamber and Bleacher Creatures, or at the very least make them all wear Storm Trooper helmets.

There's no denying Christmas arrived early for Yankee droids fans.  What an absolutely stunning off-season this has been for Yankees brass as well, between the hiring of new Imperial Guard field manager Aaron Boone, and now this.

But wait, there's more.  As Brian Cashman continues expressing his desire to rule the galaxy sign a starting pitcher, be it resigning C.C. Sabathia, or otherwise.

In fact, he foresees it.

Upon the conclusion of a whirlwind week in December, Brian Cashman has no doubt seized the attention of every member of the Senate general manager in baseball.  Every front office, field manager, Jedi, and player, from Los Angeles to Houston, Anaheim to Chicago, from Boston, and closer to home in Tatooine Queens, realize the Sith Yankees have once more altered the landscape of baseball.

R2 says the chances of A.L. East survival are 3,720 ... to one.

Here we go again.


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