PIGSKIN
FOOTBALL SUNDAY
Week Six
RESULTS
Week Five
Scoreboard:
Week Five Record: 5-6-1
Overall Record: 39-25-2
Schmear of the Week: 4-1
Bagels in the Basket: +21
1st and Ten:
2nd and Long:
No Gain:
PUNT!
WEEK SIX:
Friday Line ~ NYDN
EAGLES -4 (Giants) *MONDAY NIGHT
ICYMI > Coach McAdoo Passing The Time Away
This week's Giant injury report reads like Santa's list of bad kids. Too many to overcome, I think. A Giants loss would also hurl the NFC East even deeper into chaos and confusion, and I think that's exactly what the Fates have in mind. The Giants are running out of healthy receivers, allowing the Eagles to key on the run. Oh, right. The Giants don't have a running game.
Win; 27-7 Eagles
JETS -6 (D.C. Hogs)
On one hand, Jets fans must have been annoyed over having their momentum interrupted by an early bye week. On the other hand, they sure as hell needed the rest - Chris Ivory and Bilal Powell especially. Eric Decker will be feeling better this week as well. And now, the NFL's #1 defense is about to get better too. Sheldon Richardson is back!
Win; 34-20 Jets
Broncos -4 1/2 (BROWNS)
Offense comes and goes, but defense should travel every week. That's why I'm sticking with the Broncos. The spread is reasonable enough, and the Browns aren't exactly playing steel curtain-like defense.
Loss; 26-23 Broncos
Bengals -3 (BILLS)
Oh boy. I thought too long about this one. Undefeated teams gotta lose eventually, right? But facts are facts - the Bills have been regressing these last few weeks, and their QB is starting to suffer NFL grade pain. The Bengals are sky high after their OT victory over the Seahawks last week. Part of me says the Bills may not not even put up a fight, while the other side says, "Don't worry, Rex will get them worked up in a lather, and besides, LeSean McCoy is coming back." Ignore both and just lay the points.
Win; 34-21 Bengals
VIKINGS -3 1/2 (Chiefs)
It's high time I thought differently about both teams. That is all.
Win; 16-10 Vikings
Texans -1 (JAGUARS)
The numbers say they are mirror images. But no one really thinks the Texans and Jaguars are equals on the field, right? I said it last week, and I'll say it again, Texans' head coach Bill O'Brien's job is on the line. Go with Houston pulling one out for the Gipper...
Win; 31-20 Texans
LIONS -3 (Bears)
Who knows anymore. These Bears and Lions are nothing more that depressed kiddie zoo attractions. This is a game of Bad versus Worse, but which is which? In any Toilet Bowl, rule of thumb is to lay the points, and make sure you put the seat back down when you leave.
PUSH; 37-34 Lions
Cardinals -3 1/2 (STEELERS)
Don't ruin the head, you know the deal - puff and pass.
Loss; 25-13; Steelers
TITANS -1 (Dolphins)
Don't even blink. Don't even think about fixing your face to say - "Yeah, but the Fish..." No! Stop it.
Loss; 38-10 Dolphins
SEAHAWKS -7 (Panthers)
Undefeated no more... Seahawks will be the best team Carolina faces to date, and it will show. It's time the Panthers got humbled, but only when I decide.
Loss; 27-23 Panthers
Chargers +10 1/2 (PACKERS)
The Chargers are perhaps the most enigmatic team in the league. Not sexy mysterious, but frustratingly inconsistent. In any event, that's just too many points for me.
Win; 27-20 Packers
Ravens -3 (49ERS)
What the Niners did last week was a poor reflection on the Giants play, not anything good San Francisco conjured. Lay those points baby, with a supreme lack of confidence.
Loss; 25-20 49ers
Patriots -9 (COLTS)
The Colts are playing like little ponies this season, and it's not changing anytime soon. Revisiting all that DeflateGate crap will only serve to piss off Tom Brady and the rest of Bill Belichick's minions. Colts fans might as well stay home Sunday and watch baseball. This one is liable to get ugly.
Loss; 34-27 Patriots
Schmear of the Week:
Titans -1
Guten Appetit:
Nope, sorry. This is my Bye Week. The Giants play on Monday night, the Rangers/Devils game starts at 1:00pm, then Mets baseball. I'll be busy. Therefore, no menu for you.
Otherwise, good luck, and have a great Football Sunday everyone!
Post Game:
Week Six Record: 6-6-1
Overall Record: 44-31-2
Schmear of the Week: 4-2
Bagels in the Basket: +17
Overall Record: 39-25-2
Schmear of the Week: 4-1
Bagels in the Basket: +21
1st and Ten:
- Remaining undefeated teams: Patriots, Bengals, Broncos, Panthers, Packers.
- The Giants do not handle success well, therefore, Philly will forge a 1st place tie in the NFC East.... that's because the Jets are going to carpet bomb the D.C. Hogs.
2nd and Long:
- The Colts have absolutely no one challenging them within their division. Worse, they're playing with themselves and can't even get that right. They might as well play in a closet.
- Atlanta must be pissed after losing to the Saints (Thursday), and falling out of first place. They'll be simmering on their sofas Sunday watching the Panthers lose to the Seahawks.
No Gain:
- The Detroit Lions have no wins. That is all.
PUNT!
- Week Five Audit: Pay up sucka! Carlos Hyde (S.F.) fined $23,152 for his hit involving Jon Beason (NYG). Michael Bennett (SEA) was fined $20,000 for unnecessary roughness on Andy Dalton (CIN). Clay Matthews (G.B.) fined $17, 363 for unnecessary roughness on Nick Foles (St.L.)
WEEK SIX:
Friday Line ~ NYDN
EAGLES -4 (Giants) *MONDAY NIGHT
ICYMI > Coach McAdoo Passing The Time Away
This week's Giant injury report reads like Santa's list of bad kids. Too many to overcome, I think. A Giants loss would also hurl the NFC East even deeper into chaos and confusion, and I think that's exactly what the Fates have in mind. The Giants are running out of healthy receivers, allowing the Eagles to key on the run. Oh, right. The Giants don't have a running game.
Win; 27-7 Eagles
JETS -6 (D.C. Hogs)
On one hand, Jets fans must have been annoyed over having their momentum interrupted by an early bye week. On the other hand, they sure as hell needed the rest - Chris Ivory and Bilal Powell especially. Eric Decker will be feeling better this week as well. And now, the NFL's #1 defense is about to get better too. Sheldon Richardson is back!
Win; 34-20 Jets
Broncos -4 1/2 (BROWNS)
Offense comes and goes, but defense should travel every week. That's why I'm sticking with the Broncos. The spread is reasonable enough, and the Browns aren't exactly playing steel curtain-like defense.
Loss; 26-23 Broncos
Bengals -3 (BILLS)
Oh boy. I thought too long about this one. Undefeated teams gotta lose eventually, right? But facts are facts - the Bills have been regressing these last few weeks, and their QB is starting to suffer NFL grade pain. The Bengals are sky high after their OT victory over the Seahawks last week. Part of me says the Bills may not not even put up a fight, while the other side says, "Don't worry, Rex will get them worked up in a lather, and besides, LeSean McCoy is coming back." Ignore both and just lay the points.
Win; 34-21 Bengals
VIKINGS -3 1/2 (Chiefs)
It's high time I thought differently about both teams. That is all.
Win; 16-10 Vikings
Texans -1 (JAGUARS)
The numbers say they are mirror images. But no one really thinks the Texans and Jaguars are equals on the field, right? I said it last week, and I'll say it again, Texans' head coach Bill O'Brien's job is on the line. Go with Houston pulling one out for the Gipper...
Win; 31-20 Texans
LIONS -3 (Bears)
Who knows anymore. These Bears and Lions are nothing more that depressed kiddie zoo attractions. This is a game of Bad versus Worse, but which is which? In any Toilet Bowl, rule of thumb is to lay the points, and make sure you put the seat back down when you leave.
PUSH; 37-34 Lions
Cardinals -3 1/2 (STEELERS)
Don't ruin the head, you know the deal - puff and pass.
Loss; 25-13; Steelers
TITANS -1 (Dolphins)
Don't even blink. Don't even think about fixing your face to say - "Yeah, but the Fish..." No! Stop it.
Loss; 38-10 Dolphins
SEAHAWKS -7 (Panthers)
Undefeated no more... Seahawks will be the best team Carolina faces to date, and it will show. It's time the Panthers got humbled, but only when I decide.
Loss; 27-23 Panthers
Chargers +10 1/2 (PACKERS)
The Chargers are perhaps the most enigmatic team in the league. Not sexy mysterious, but frustratingly inconsistent. In any event, that's just too many points for me.
Win; 27-20 Packers
Ravens -3 (49ERS)
What the Niners did last week was a poor reflection on the Giants play, not anything good San Francisco conjured. Lay those points baby, with a supreme lack of confidence.
Loss; 25-20 49ers
Patriots -9 (COLTS)
The Colts are playing like little ponies this season, and it's not changing anytime soon. Revisiting all that DeflateGate crap will only serve to piss off Tom Brady and the rest of Bill Belichick's minions. Colts fans might as well stay home Sunday and watch baseball. This one is liable to get ugly.
Loss; 34-27 Patriots
Schmear of the Week:
Titans -1
Guten Appetit:
Nope, sorry. This is my Bye Week. The Giants play on Monday night, the Rangers/Devils game starts at 1:00pm, then Mets baseball. I'll be busy. Therefore, no menu for you.
Otherwise, good luck, and have a great Football Sunday everyone!
Post Game:
Week Six Record: 6-6-1
Overall Record: 44-31-2
Schmear of the Week: 4-2
Bagels in the Basket: +17
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