PIGSKIN 2019: Week Five

PIGSKIN

FOOTBALL SUNDAY

Week Five

RESULTS

Week One

Week Two
Week Three

Week Four

SCOREBOARD
Week Four Record:  5-8
Overall Record:  23-32
Schmear of the Week:  2-2
Bagels in the Basket:  -9


1st and Ten

• We have our first official Odell Beckham Jr. getting choked-out incident of the season courtesy of Baltimore's Marlon Humphrey.
• Gardner Minshew appears to be a popular guy.
• Patriots, Chiefs, and Niners, still undefeated.
• Who is having a better start than Russell Wilson?  I'll wait ...

2nd and Long

• Eli Manning is 0-2 this season as starting quarterback of the Giants; Daniel Jones is 2-0 as starting quarterback of the Giants.
• Luke Falk makes his second straight start for Gang Spleen.  Good luck with that ...

No Gain

• Raiders Vontaze Burfict's hit on Colts tight end Jack Doyle is exactly what the league is trying to legislate out of the game.  A chronic repeat offender, he's been suspended for the remainder of the season.  Some people just don't get it.
• Shut your mouth!  Clay Matthews suffers a broken jaw.
• Sam Darnold's spleen.

PUNT!

• What happens when Tom Brady throws for just 150 yards and an INT with a 10.3 QB rating?  The Patriots step up their defense, force three INT's, and knock Josh Allen into concussion protocol.
• The unspoken demise of Todd Gurley's career continues.
• First quarter of the season is over.
• O.J. Simpson opened a Twitter account!

WEEK FIVE
Saturday Line NYP

Vikings -5 GIANTS
Giants fan speaking:  Vikings are frustrating.  But if they come in with their heads screwed on right, they should have no problem beating the Giants.  Vikings wanna run, but they can throw with certainty.  The Giants can defend neither for any considerable length of time.  They were on the field for all of 23-minutes last week against Washington, whom not incidentally are yet to win a game.  Even with the return to action of Golden Tate I simply do not foresee the Giants possessing the ball for 36-minutes as they did last Sunday.  On that note, Coach Shurmur emphasized the running game with a measure of success.  It would please me greatly if he follows up with another 40 rush effort.
WIN; 35-14 Vikings

EAGLES -14 1/2 Jets
Somewhat different than the Giants game, but essentially the same.  The Jets offensive line is compromised to begin with.  Insert third-stringer Luke Falk's name into the conversation, here.  There's just no way the Jets achieve sustainable ball possession.  If I'm Coach Gase, I roll up Le'Veon Bell in bubble wrap and duct tape him to the bench.  Defensively, their best players also remain out.  Gang Spleen just has to wait this thing out.
WIN; 31-6 Eagles

Ravens -3 STEELERS
I'm willing to bet last week's disaster against the Browns left a bad taste in the Ravens beaks.  The Steelers are looking very pedestrian.
PUSH Loss; 26-23 Ravens OT

Bears -5 Raiders  *LONDON, ENGLAND
Mitch Trubisky might not be that good, but the Raiders are a horror on the road.  Crossing the Pond is as road game as it gets.  Be a good chap and lay the points.
Loss; 24-21 Raiders

Cardinals +3 BENGALS
At no time should the Bengals ever be favored ...
WIN; 26-23 Cardinals

Jaguars +3 1/2 PANTHERS
Battle of the Back-Ups: Kyle Allen vs. Gardner Minshew.  Whatever ... defense travels, and the Panthers are just a little too Jekyll/Hyde for my tastes.  That half-point makes all the difference.
Loss; 34-27 Panthers

Patriots -15 1/2 D.C. SNYDERS
The Patriots are banged up on both sides of the ball, and coming off their worst offensive performance I can recall.  That said they couldn't have drawn a better opponent.  The next best thing to a bye is playing Washington.  The Snyders have scored a mere 66 points through four games.  Meanwhile the Patriots have allowed just 27 points through four games.  Come to think of it, this has trap game written all over it.
WIN; 33-7 Patriots

SAINTS -3 Bucs
I don't know who the Bucs think they are..!  But neither do I.  Last week's game against the Rams was just stupid.  The Rams are a common opponent.  The Saints lost at Los Angeles in week two, but they're 2-0 at home ... in the dome.
WIN; 31-24 Saints

TEXANS -4 Falcons
Two teams that continually disappoint me, and their coaches, and their fans, and their respective cities.  My head says take the points, but I'll give Houston the benefit of the doubt.  Something other than the obligatory three points makes me think there's something going on.
WIN; 53-32 Texans

TITANS -3 Bills
Let's be clear: both teams suck.  In fact, I'm pretty fed up with the Titans.  But I'll take a clear-minded albeit pedestrian Marcus Mariota over a beaten and battered Josh Allen (at the hands of the Patriots).
Loss; 14-7 Bills

CHARGERS -6 1/2 Broncos
Who saw an 0-4 start from the Broncos?  Less than a touchdown is an enticing spread to cover for Rivers and the Chargers.
Loss; 20-13 Broncos

COWBOYS -3 1/2 Packers
How bout them COWBOYS!?!?!  They're building up to one of the most colossal meltdowns in the 100 history of the NFL!!  Otherwise, I think this spread is spot on.  May the better team win.
Loss; 34-24 Packers

Colts +11 CHIEFS
Mind you, I'm merely picking the Colts to cover.  The Chiefs defense gives away tons and tons and tons of yardage that the Colts will be happy to gobble up.
WIN; 19-13 Colts


Schmear of the Week: (2-2)
EAGLES -14 1/2
WIN


Good luck, and have a great Football Sunday, everyone!

Post Game
Week Five Record: 7-6
Overall Record:  30-38
Schmear of the Week: 3-2
Bagels in the Basket:  -5