New York Jets; Tower .... You're cleared for take off.
Uh...Tower? We seem to be.....
Uh...New York Jets? Come in Jets.
Folks, The New York Jets took off tonight and pancaked Flacco in the opening minutes; as if the Defense wanted to let him know it was going to be a bumpy flight. What happened next defies logic, not to mention the laws of physics.
Flags went up everywhere! ~ (14 penalties called against the Jets tonight). May-Day; May-Day!!
They got off the tarmac splendidly but after achieving only a couple hundred feet (or Upper Deck high) they experienced complete engine failure; banked hard to the left and came crash landing right into "New Jets Stadium". Their Monday Night Home Opener exploded into flames and Jets' Fans hopes went up in a burning ball of offensive futility
After winning the Super Bowl in August, the Jets were given a major dose of Reality, receiving several Hard Knocks of their own.
Folks, this defense can be great but not if it's going to be on the field twice as long as the offense. Jets' offensive futility (and fumbles!) kept the Raven's offense on the field for almost 39:00 full minutes. The Jets made six 1st downs all night. That's one and 1/2 first downs per quarter! And one of them came via penalty.
D-Generation REX can be a terrifying bunch. It remains to be seen but we believe it is so. There's no disputing that. But the other side of the ball was just plain terrible tonight. Coach Ryan's Chuck Wagon broke an axle right out of the gate. He only has half the wagon operational pretty much all game. The opening high of flattening Flacco was quickly turned into a 55:00 minute crash and burn. C'mon, how much time actually ticks off the clock kicking three field goals?
Mark Sanchez was 10 of 21 for 74 yards; 0 TD; 0 INT. Now there's a plus. This will be one less game he'll be susceptible to throwing one. Most of his attempts and yardage came late in the game when they were scrambling and playing against an expiring clock.
In a play he's going to be criticized about, momentum carried Dustin Keller out of bounds just shy of the first down marker in a play which incidentally ended the game on downs; not necessarily the clock. But regulation time was ended and because of the way this game finished, REX, Schotts, the SANchize and Keller will be foamed, sprayed, soaked and doused with, and by, every flame(ing) RETARD(ant) in town tomorrow.
Again....Our top story tonight ~ Jets crash and burn immediately after take-off. Details at 11:00
N.Y. JETS 9