Thursday, May 13, 2010

Manuel on Manuel Crime

If for some crazy reason I want to have my wife followed because my bank account is disappearing and she suddenly signed up for tennis lessons, remind me not to hire this guy.

She can have the $13.26 by the way. This guy was like Wile E. Coyote peering down the cliff with his ACME binoculars while Road Runner was behind him the whole time. Apparently the Colorado Rockies are accusing Mick Billmeyer, Phillies bullpen coach, of stealing signs with the help of binoculars. Read here for the NY Daily News article  and read here for The New York Times' take.

Just to let you know, I don't really care as it applies to the Mets as you will soon see. In-game hi-jinx is OK. But binoculars from the bullpen? Nah.. C'mon. Be better. As a batter if you want to try and sneak a peak. Fine. If the catcher nabs you in the act and has a problem with it? Fine. If the runner on second base is looking in and gives signs to the batter? Fine. If the pitcher dots that guy next time up? That's fine too.

Binoculars from the bullpen? C'mon. I'm not going to get too crazy about this but...C'mon. Be better than sitting on your duff with binoculars. Just be better dude. Heck, he might have only been watching the positioning of the catcher. Sure. C'mon. Be better.

But what makes this story truly amazing and humorous to me is Charlie Manuel's response to the accusations against the Phillies. He pulled the classic 'Ol Okee-Doke! He donned his rubber vest and bounced the sign stealing controversy right on the Mets!! How Philthy is that? Accuse Me? Check the Mets!! Now I know that Charlie is and old hand at the double-speak. If I were the reporters in the room I'd be trying to soothe away the slap Charlie just took pleasure in delivering to them all. All Charlie was saying was the Phils and the Mets have the same home record and both are struggling on the road. Well done Charlie. It was a classic move right out of the ART of WAR. But you're still a chump! That's right Philly! Your Manuel is a chump for saying what he did. My Manuel's butt might be on fire this year but your Manuel just proved himself to be a pimple on it.  I'll tell ya what I'll do Charlie.  Here's where you can get a quick refresher on The Ethics of Sign Stealing by Mike Silva

So here we are. The trumpet charge in the latest battle in the War of I-95 was lead by Ol Rooster Neck himself, FogHorn LegHorn, Chuckie- M. What used to be verbal Wrestlemania among the players like Hamels, Rollins, Wright and Beltran has taken a strange turn towards something much weirder. Jerry, my team's Manuel, laughed it off as if to acknowledge the very page of the Manager's Manual, Charlie Manuel spoke from.

Spies Like Us? No Chuck. You're hardly the Spy Who Loved Me type.
No, this Philadelphia - New York Rivalry has become something more like:

Beware of pianos falling out of the sky.

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