Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Canseco and the MONSTER

So Jose Canseco,

Mr. Vindicated himself,

The Daniel Boone of the Steroid Era,

The Capt. (K)Jerk of the Star-Juicing Federation of Cheats,

Bluto, to Mark McGwire's Popeye, said.....,

Jose said "PUFF the MUTANT SLUGGER", McGwire, wasn't being forthright with us yesterday basically calling him a liar.

Jose, Go'way, Jose has been the most truthful person of the whole steroid era. Everything the Oracle at Gold's Gym has said thus far, rang true. Why should we stop believing him now? I wouldn't trust him to mail a letter for me. But he has an axe to grind and we are the beneficiaries. Think about it, most of what we do know about the Steroid Era has either been leaked, as in THE LIST and the Balco investigation, AND whatever JOSE noway! Canseco has told us.

Which gets me back to Puff the Mutant Slugger.

Popeye told Bob Costas that the Steroids didn't help him hit a single home run. He learned his craft and studied and worked hard and was given good DNA, so says him. The steroids were to keep him healthy and on the field.

Really? Really.....really. Really? C'MON!

We waited nine years for this? This is the best he could do after nine years? Really? Really!?

He didn't remember what he took. Typical. He only did HGH one or two times. Typical. He only did it to come back from injury and sustain health. Typical Typical Typical. Check Check Check.. There is a motif in the Genesis here folks. Andy Pettitte and Popeye using the same ruse. Don't forget folks, we had to shake the truth out of Dear Lovable Andy....TWICE! I digress. A-ROD used his LOOSEY GOOSEY time line and stressed about living up to a contract. Yea, whatever.

Whatever DUDES!

Folks I bring you the case for Frankenstein, the Innocent.

Bud Selig is Dr.Frankenstein and his trusty lab assisstant Igor, Donald Fehr. The two together are The Louis and Clark of the Steroid Era, Captain Chaos and his sidekick Confusion, allowing Players to boldly go where no record has gone before. I digress again. Pardon.

You know the legendary tale of Frankenstein, apply here!....so I don't have to get too detailed with this analogy. I'll get right to the heart of this legendary classic we call Frankenstein and the MONSTER we call the Steroid Era. The cast is being played out by players of the much broader ERA I call the Marvin Miller Effect, who because of the money secured to them through agents like Scott Boras, and owners who were always afraid mostly of they themselves, created an environment that pervades all aspects of Baseball and brings us to today. Part of that blanket statement I just made means these players live in fantasy land and believe they exists on a totally different realm than you and me. We the Plebs are just that, bottom of the status ladder. The bottom bottom bottom line why we pay so much to go to a game is because they make they salaries they do, the owners agree to it, and pass the cost off to us. Somehow we blindly agree to this social contract. Of course a few bad apples spoil it for everyone. Of course. 90% are very quite normal. but we don't care about them. We only care about the one's who destroyed our record books like Godzilla trampling through Tokyo. So, we kinda helped create this MONSTER.

But grab pitch-fork in hand and torch too. Because the Monster we didn't mind too much about at first, has gotten out of control and destroyed our hallowed records as we once knew them. Frankenstein the Monster caused the loss of that little girl's life when they played with lillies by the pond.

Here's the whole difference folks. Dr.Frankenstein's MONSTER was innocent. The monster didn't realize it was doing anything wrong when it threw the little girl into the pond. Clever editing prevents us from knowing what really happened in the movie huh? But these players knew.  They knew exactly what they were doing, when they were doing it, how they were doing it,  with who they were doing it, what cycle they should be on, knew the pronounciation of every syllable of every steriod, etc etc...

That makes Frankenstein's Monster Innocent and OUR MLB MONSTERS, guitly. 


pics from:  glue.yahoo.com


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